‘Anonymous’

Anonymous asked: Hey Alex, any tips on what to wear to a trendy nightclub?

southwick harris tweed jacket - $899

N.E. shirt co light blue oxford spread collar shirt $189

rogue territory stanton in dark indigo $185

alfred sargent cap toe dainite sole boots. $599

no tie though.

keep it casual.

-alex

————-

real answer: if its a date with a girl wear dark denim and a white long sleeve polo. then a blazer for shoes either suede chukkas or brown longwings.

if its a night out with your boys, wear things you wouldn’t mind getting ruined.

when in doubt, be the best dressed in the room. but never the loudest.

Anonymous asked: i cant even taste the difference between coke and pepsi

this is why you will die alone.

only your fleas will mourn you.

-alex

Anonymous asked: Which is better: Coke or Pepsi?

that’s akin to asking:

which is better: fresh orange juice or bleach

COKE

forever

and to take it up a notch, cherry coke is best.

i always assume people who like pepsi secretly hate themselves and are into bdsm. they torture themselves with the flavor to soften the hurt buried deep inside their souls.

even worse than them are the people that state there is no difference in flavor between the two.

madmen.

raving lunatics.

who wouldn’t know good taste if it bit them in the ass.

talentless hacks who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag.

gutless punks.

cowards.

thanks for asking,

alex

Anonymous asked: you are unsure of how you view your blog. your opinion of it I think has changed. it's good though. you are on the right path.

An anonymous question written almost entirely in the second-person narrative.

Bravo.

Anonymous asked: Spelling is important!

you’re goddamned right about that.

-alex

Anonymous asked: Any clothing tips for winter season?

wear clothing in the winter.

more than usual.

depending on weather of course.

the colder it is.

the more clothes you wear.

do the opposite in the summer though.

oh wait, im supposed to take this seriously now.

bc this is a super serious question.

you want my advice on winter clothing.

quick tips.

little nuggets of info.

  • invest in a cashmere scarf. 
  • invest in 2 pairs of winter boots. 
  • invest in a great winter coat.
  • drink manhattans.
  • find a significant other to keep you warm at night.
  • work out as much as possible so as not to gain winter weight.

good luck man. 

YOU CAN DO IT.

YOU CAN GET DRESSED IN THE WINTER.

ITS JUST LIKE SUMMER BUT COLDER.

best,

alex

Anonymous asked: what bothers me is that I see a bunch of people asking legitimate questions, and then I read your answer and it sounds like a bunch of shit... like Mitt Romney opening his mouth. I can barely tell what you are trying to say. and it sucks because, what if people who ask questions want a real answer? who cares if they're anonymous, that doesn't mean a real human being didn't ask the question. if you don't get that, you must be new to life.

mitt romney?

did you have a bad day?

if people have real problems they shouldn’t be soliciting someone they have never met.

especially online.

this isnt a help forum.

this isnt fucking goodwill.

its a fashion blog.

if you want help call a friend/family member

i mean, there are a million toll free self help lines out there.

its not like there isnt information online to help with a majority of the things that people ask for.

i mean jesus christ,

"HOW DO I WEAR A JACKET/SHIRT/PANTS?"

"HOW OLD ARE YOU?"

"ARE YOU GAY?"

"ARE YOU STRAIGHT?"

"HOW TALL ARE YOU?"

these are the majority of the questions i get.

i am under no obligation to answer these, or any questions i receive.

do you get mad when sunsets are shitty?

"FUCK YOU SUN, THAT WAS A HALF ASS SUNSET, SOME PEOPLE NEED TO TAKE INSTAGRAMS"

this is what is wrong with the internet.

stop expecting someone you have never met to fix your problems.

no one knows your problems and shortcomings better than yourself.

so you are the one who is best suited to solve them.

i dont know you.

i dont know you.

i dont know you.

i have friends.

i have family.

i will always drop what im doing to help them.

but this is the fucking internet.

and i dont fucking know you.

-alex

Anonymous asked: If I'm wearing brown leather sandals, would I be better off wearing black or white socks?

i would wear one black and one white.

say no to racism.

Anonymous asked: Dude, its snowing here now. How many inches before I can't wear shorts anymore?

i laughed.

very hard.

and very heartily.

still laughing as i post this.

bravo anon.

Anonymous asked: so are you really young?

finally.

someone gets me.

Anonymous asked: Can you write a song about me? I have a gray face if that helps.

ill call it “her face was gray, but her heart was black

Anonymous asked: how are your hands so big? what's your workout routine?

type in 140 characters all the time.

your hands will grow young blogger.

YOUR TRAINING BEGINS NOW.

Anonymous asked: What is your favorite thing to wear and why?

i love to wear shoes.

bc i have no socks.

:(

plz halp.

Anonymous asked: Hello, I've been following your blog for a minute now, and from what I've observed you're well spoken and dress well. So, I thought it would be safe to assume you are wise in the ways of women. I was wondering where you stand on dating two girls at the same time. Even though I'm nowhere near being committed to either of them, or them to me, I find myself feeling guilty. Thanks in advance- Anon

i am going to assume this is a serious question.

for educational purposes.

it is unadvisable to date more than one person at a time.

be you a man or woman, it is unlikely you are in control of your life enough to handle two different people effectively.

sure, you probably can be a shitty date to tons of people.

not listening to them.

not connecting.

ordering more drinks.

trying to dance with them.

thinking about your okcupid inbox or whatever it’s called.

if you are not committed towards someone you should not pursue them further.

but then again, who the hell am i?

just a dude.

with a laptop.

an old laptop.

i will speak to you from experience.

do not waste your time dating someone who you are not interested in.

if you are lonely, join a book club, hang out with your family, visit your grandparents.

if you want to get it on, go work out.

dating two people half-assedly will only result in two shitty relationships.

its never like saved by the bell when zach morris is somehow dating 2 girls on the same night at the same time.

its more like…i dunno…some movie where everything falls apart.

just focus on finding someone cool.

and then be honest with them.

do not flirt over facebook.

dont text them all day.

do not ‘like’ all their posts.

go up to them and tell em you like em.

be a grown up.

you might get shot down, but at least you’ll know where you stand.

-alex

Anonymous asked: i have a lot of tanks tops (mostly basic colors) some long sleeve flannels some skate shorts and jeans. can you please give some tips for this

are you in high school?

are you in college?

then your wardrobe is fine.

if you are over 21 you ought to style it like thusly:

  1. find an alchemist
  2. have him change your tanks into chambray shirts
  3. have him change your long sleeve flannels into shawl collar cardigans
  4. have him change your shorts and jeans into indigo sweatpants
  5. buy some loafers
  6. swerve
  7. repeat step 6 until you die happy.

-alex